CHAPTER 7: NARCISSISTIC SELF-LOVE
Whatever you feel, she feels. This is vital to understand. This is what governs and rules what it is going to happen regarding what you say and do. If you are a little stressed, negative, needy, attached to the outcome, it is not going to work at all. They will feel it, they will emotionally recognize it. Tune into this and cultivate self-love. Feel the best you could possibly feel. Feel positive, extremely happy, and carefree, at ease, in love with who you are. That will transfer to the girl and she will start loving you.
Be aware of it. Don’t focus on the superficial layer of things. Don’t recognize the techniques. Lines, actions etc. In reality a good 80/90% is happening between the surface and that is the stuff you emotionally recognize. After every interaction, ask yourself what you are feeling. What do you feel when you watch someone successful or not successful with women. How does he feel? Don’t break it down objectively. Is it light, fun, positive, childlike, a kid fucking around with another kid, flirting 101. Provocative. Or is it heavy, rushed, forced, leaning towards the girl, someone trying to complete themselves with the girl. Tune in your selective focus. Pick up the details. Be aware of the deeper layer. See it in other and in yourself. When you go out, feel amazing, feel awesome. You can’t put it in words, you will emotionally recognize it.
How you cultivate this?
1. Buy into yourself. Step out of social conditioning. Don’t view yourself through those layers looks, money, and society. View yourself through the lens of your reality. It’s the behavioral cues, not the social cues. In a world where only the first matter, the guy who is trying to better himself is the most attractive. You would be the top 1%. You are pursuing your journey to reach your potential. You have to realize that you are in the top 1% and you are attractive to women. Don’t get sucked into the bullshit. You are the shit, you are in this path. The potential to have value is like having value right now. You have value.
2. Stop viewing women in a higher position than you. Even realistically this is false. As a man you are higher. Why are you placing women higher than you without any merit? View them as equals. You should be 100% confident. Snap out of the social conditioning of placing women on a pedestal. Start giving yourself permission of feeling at ease and yourself around her.
3. Get rid of judgment as well. When you feel like you deserve the girl, attraction is automatic. This entitlement comes from scarcity/abundance. In scarcity you won’t feel confident, you will think it’s your only chance, you must not fuck it up, she is the only one and you will freeze. You will never succeed. Change it to abundance. You don’t care you fuck it up with one, you have options. You will feel entitled.
Don’t judge her on her looks only, you will reinforce a look judgmental reality for yourself. Get rid of the rating. To truly start feeling at ease and feel comfortable, get rid of it. A girl is a girl. That’s the frame. A girl’s physique will never make up for shitty personality. You are placing her on a pedestal but you know nothing about her. Being hot doesn’t make up for it. Looks mean nothing in the long term. The validation is good but you will realize that after you sleep with her, she won’t be as hot as before. She will lose the value because you did it for the validation. When you see a beautiful girl, you must think let’s go find who she is, if there is true chemistry.
4. Know exactly in which way you will benefit other people. What value are you offering her? If you don’t know this, you won’t feel entitled and have self-love. No superficial things. You are offering a good time, an abundance of positive emotions, a being carefree, fun. Everyone is chasing these 3. If you can do this and not give a fuck, everyone will chase you. This has huge value. She doesn’t want money, to be impressed by your DHVs. She wants fun and carefreeness. It’s a value exchange. Look at yourself, think about the times people have given you props. When you received compliments. No matter who you are, you have value just because of the fact you are unique. Look at your strengths, view it clearly. So that when you are out, even if it’s scary, you have that to offer. This will help massively.
5. Embrace who you are as well. In terms of developing this good feeling, you can’t try to pretend to be someone else. NO matter how hard you try, you will be the cheaper shittier version of that person. The best thing you can be is who you are. Don’t try to be someone you are not. Don’t try to be like everyone else. Be who you are and transcend, expand on that. Embrace your weirdness, your sense of humor. Imitation is suicide.
6. You can’t fix your features. Whatever you don’t like of yourself, feature that. Feature your insecurities, buy into them. It’s your reality, your rules. She doesn’t care. She cares more if you are at ease, comfortable with who you are. IF you bought into it, she won’t even question it. Everyone is always looking elsewhere on what to think, what to value. If you bought into something, and you firmly believe it, she will believe it too. You are cool, you are the man for her. Believe it and she will too.
7. Put yourself out there unapologetically as well. Whatever your intentions are put it out there. Some people don’t want to express themselves because they are afraid of offending other people. If what you are doing is coming out of good intentions, trust it and do it.
8. Start being interested in yourself. What are you into? Do introspection. How you live, what music you like, what’s your humor, what are your passions, what excites you. When you are out
what could you do that could make you happy. Exercise of not pulling. See what happens. You could spend those hours at a club doing nothing or having fun and discover what makes you feel good. Cultivate yourself. She will go for the best. You have to be the best “you” you can be. IF someone is the best of themselves, she should go for it. Watch standup comedy. Read comedians, writers. Cultivate wit. Make yourself better. Cultivate what you find funny, what you love. You have to make your lifestyle congruent with your new you. Replace the influences.
9. Be passionate about yourself as well. This will transfer to the girl. She will be engaged. That will attract tons of people. People always want to have more fun. Most people live boring life, boring friends etc. Offer fun, passion, carefree. Everyone wants to be around that. Cultivate these feelings. What can you do to build them? When out, focus on making yourself feel good. IF you do it right, you won’t even care about the girls. No pedestal, no outcome.
10. Use girls reactions as well to cultivate the reality where you are the shit, no matter what she is saying. You have to start finding creative way to reinforce your frame. This is the basic strategy of passing shit tests. Make yourself awesome with your reply. You are not a model. That makes me easier to pick up. This is a skill you can develop as well. Take anything, amplify it in as self-love optic.
11. You can make things more captivating as well. Be funny, no big deal. Explain things in a funny way. Express yourself in a captivating way. Watch Julien videos. Hook people when you talk. Use bad language. Add graphics, gestures. Learn marketing. DO it with your personality. Amplify it. Speak in different frequencies. GO higher and lower with your voice. High energy, low energy. Fast pace, slow pace. Switch the frequencies. A lot of people talk flat. Same speed. Add a range. Make it dynamic. Add graphic, gestures, swear words. Anything that adds a captivating feeling to it. Market it. For yourself. Engage yourself. It will transfer to her. Put your body into it. Move round, put your body into it, and amplify it. Self-amusement is big here. When out see how you are feeling. See what you do. See the patterns. So you can manage your emotions. Notice how you feel when you are in state.
Whatever you feel, she feels. Be abundant, fun, carefree, passionate. That’s what gets girls chasing you. This is the basic of pushing. If you are this kind of person, when you push her she will come back because she wants to be around that kind of person. Focus on how you can build this feeling and how you can keep it. DO this every time you go out and slowly your default starting point of state will go higher. You will addict yourself to that feeling. It becomes familiar. You won’t be in your head anymore. It will become a habit, who you are. Work on this. It will be hard. Use this information. Notice what you see in other people non verbally. Vibe wise. Sit down and reflect on who you are. Amplify it. Anything is an influence. You watch a movie, ask yourself what you can take out of it. How will it help your personally. Take little pieces and expand who you are. Take the traits you want from other people. Create your own reality. It’s your world. You are the god of your world. Don’t hate other people. Get rid of judgment. They are other people, you are you. You don’t care.
Make sure that even if you love yourself, you are still relatable. Be social intelligent. If she can’t relate to something you say, step back and find a common ground.