CHAPTER 5: MOMENTUM
It’s important that you keep doing this over and over again to build momentum. You have to jump in and keep jumping in again and again. Do this daily. Don’t freak out. You have to do this every day. 30 minutes every single day. Anyone can spend 30 minutes a day to interact with women. Even if you are at home, go to the shitty bar next to you. No matter how busy you are, you do have the time. Cut into your sleep. It’s a lot better to go out 30 minutes daily than to not go out at all and go out only on the weekends for hours. You are not going to naturally feel motivated doing this. You need to make this a habit in order to create that motivation. To do this you have to do it daily. Schedule it in the 30 minutes beforehand. Don’t fit it in. Decide a precise time. Or you will come out with excuses. Stick to it as if it was work. You don’t have a choice.
Focus on surviving, not thriving. Don’t aim to kill it, having amazing results at first. Survive on having this daily. Don’t even think whether you sucked or not. What matters is that you stick to the schedule, the pain, the struggle, the tough stuff until you get used to it and your body starts wanting it. Once your body is aligned, push through that. Don’t get stuck to the surviving either. Move away from it soon enough.
Momentum. Doing this daily will build momentum. When you jump through the emotions holding you down, which is the hardest part, hold on to it or you will lose it and snap out of it soon. So the next time you won’t spend hours building yourself, you will just recall your state. You will be used to it so you won’t have to build yourself at first. Engine comparison. Start it off once and keep it running, don’t stop it during the week. The hard part is starting up the engine. Do this on a micro level as well during your nights. Don’t just do one approach, take a long break, lose the feeling and then have to start the engine again. Don’t take long breaks. Minimize the time between interactions. Don’t run around like a crazy person either. Do it at a slower pace but no fucking breaks. Hang on to the feeling when you have it.
At some point you are going to lose it. You might skip a day, take a long break, or you might even be taking action and lose it. Let’s imagine a night out, you start well, then you lose it. Most guys will panic, will get needy, desperate, negative energy. And they are done. When it happens, don’t freak out.
Accept it and expect it. Emotions always come in waves, ups and downs. If you expect to stay on a high every time, you will be disappointed. Expect the good moments to end, and when it happens, expect it to go back up. If you lose momentum and you’ve been in this a lot, you will be already expecting it so it will be normal. You accept it, expect it and focus on getting it back.
Don’t get caught up in it. You have to realize memory is that access dependent. When you have been in an emotional or mental state, you will remember the previous time you were in the same state. When you are out and you are losing it, you will start thinking oh shit you are losing it, you are getting rejected, you are in your head and you will remember the previous times you were in that state and you will block off all the times you were in the zones and on top of your shit. Even if you did great 1 hour before, you will forget it. Take a few seconds to stop, a deep breath, take perspective, a deep breath. Realize your thoughts are about previous situations.
Be congruent to how you feel. Girls will sense the discrepancy. Embrace it, resist it, exaggerate it, and laugh.
Keep taking fucking action and have blind faith that at some point things will get better. Emotions come in waves. Expect it to come back up. Take action until it naturally happens. Your mind is playing tricks on you. Don’t get caught up on it. Snap out of it. Be sad if you are sad. If you approach lying that you are happy, they will feel it. And you will get rejected further. Exaggerate how sad he is and laugh about it. “You are really sad, you lost your momentum”. Take action and have faith things will get better.
Don’t get caught up in it, embrace exaggerate and laugh, take action and have blind faith it will get better. Be congruent.
Going out 30 minutes a day shouldn’t freak out. Making a shift requires action 24/7. 30 minutes is the minimum. Talking to your friends is working on your social skills. Always act as if you are next to a gorgeous girl 24/7. Don’t be on top of it only when you go out. Don’t transform in another person when the time comes. Be the new you you want to become every second of the day. Be who you are supposed to be. This is the new you. You will never lose what you have given. You have an infinite amount of energy, resources. You won’t be exhausted. Most people get tired after nothing. Would you still be tired with a gun to your head? Go all out. Change your philosophy about labor. Stop being lazy. Stop taking without giving. You need to put in the fucking work in order to have results. The more you put out the more you get in return. Stop keeping resources.
Don’t do it for the validation. This won’t make you happy. Taking action will. Start offering value. Go out to girls and offer energy, offer fun, offer positivity. It shows you have your life handled. You can give give give. You have so much that you are above it. It’s not the results. It’s the work you put in. Focus on the internal results you get from working, doing, love it so much you forget to eat and sleep. There is no finish line, you are in this till you die. If you are doing this to reach a certain point, quit. Really commit to this. Accept nothing else from yourself than your best fucking effort. Don’t half ass it, hassle your ass on. That is the source of happiness. Go all out.
KEEPING YOUR VITALITY ALIVE.
Keep yourself emotionally and mentally healthy in order to keep your tenacity on. Continuously pushing yourself can be exhausting. You have to be on top of this. Go big or go fuckin home.
- Drinking. If you want to keep your vitality alive the easiest think you can do is stop drinking. False confidence. You are numbing yourself to the emotional trauma. You don’t remember things. It won’t be sustainable long term. Go out sober and you won’t feel fucked up after. When you go out without drinking, you will feel weird at first, but get used to that rough start. When you build the muscle, you will be unstoppable. Get off drinking completely. Don’t depend on external stimulus.
- Getting on top of your health. Fitness, nutrition. Be aware of these things.
You need time to recover between emotional traumatizing moments. Avoiding stress is bad, you aren’t growing, but too much stress is bad as well. You need time to heal, to recharge. This doesn’t mean you can miss going out. You have to do the 30 minutes, you just can stop at the minimum sometimes, no more than 30 minutes. Make rest a necessity, not an objective. The objective is to act, take action.
Recharge the right way. Don’t waste time.
- Resting a sleeping the right way. Sleep in a dark room. You need good sleep. Eye mask, ear plugs. Full isolation while you sleep.
- Activities to help you recharge. Don’t watch TV or surf the web. Most people do this. It is just more stimulus. Unwire yourself from that. Find an activity that relaxes you and turns your brain off.
- Meditation. Taking as a daily habit will help. It’s a lot better than TV or pc. You will feel energized after just 20 minutes. Research on Tolle. Turn off all the noise and turn on your focus. Turn off the noisy thoughts. Cutting off the chaos, turning off your brain. Stop the cycle of addiction and reaction. When you continuously challenge your beliefs, your mind is constantly rewiring itself. When you go home after a night, you won’t be able to sleep because of the mind working. You won’t achieve bliss with mediation but general peace. 20 minutes a day. Clear your mind. Anyone can fit this time in their schedule. If you can’t find 20 minutes to do this, you need 20 hours. Schedule it beforehand. Make it a habit. Don’t rationalize it as time you are wasting. View it as time you are recharging. You are accomplishing something. Sit down for 20 minutes, at night before sleep. When your thoughts are running wild you can calm your mind. Sit down. Don’t worry about posture. Resist the urge of changing posture. It doesn’t matter. Accept what you chose. Resist scratching. Pick a position and commit to it. If you feel moving, accept it and with time it will go away. Eyes open, closed can work as well. Eyes open is more helpful for gaming. You will feel it during the day as well. Put on your alarm clock. Sit there and just stop thinking. Quiet the voice in your head. No mental movies. Past or future events. Be present. NO past, no future, now. When you do this, a thought will come into your mind. Don’t beat yourself up over it. It is fine and normal. Watch the thought float by, absorb it. Focus on your breathing, conscious breaths. Be aware of your body, what is in front of you. Embrace it for 20 minutes. It will be hell in the beginning, you will feel resistance. You will be waiting for it to end. IN time it will turn into a relaxing rejuvenating experience. You will see past distractions. While out and something happens, you won’t shut in your head, you will have control over your emotions, you will be grounded and you will choose the right course of action to take. You can feel joy and peace from whiting. You will realize you don’t have to depend on anyone to feel good. It will become your default state. Don’t expect to see immediate results from this. Instant gratification. Stick on it. You will see results after 1 month and you will get hooked to it.
- Massages. Get rid of the tension and stress.
- Sauna, cold pool combination. Few times in a row. That will shock you where you can’t even think.
- Yoga. More energy,
Being positive and having a good attitude. Change the language of your mental movies. Instead of being a victim and thinking everything sucks, be positive, appreciative, give yourself credit when you deserve it. Doing that will help your vitality.
No complaint challenge. 30 days. Give yourself a challenge where you can’t complain at all. Every time you start complaining, start over. This doesn’t mean keeping it inside. It means, shifting the focus on the bright side of things. See the benefit of everything is happening to you. IF people get rejected, they will be complaining. Think what the benefits are. This is traumatizing, change is happening, be happy. Appreciate what is happening. Take a few seconds to appreciate your surroundings. You are in an awesome place with awesome people and life is great. Be fucking happy. It could be worse. Some people do have it worse.
Lower your criteria, People need too much to be happy. You can decide what makes you feel happy and positive. Lower the bar so that you can be happy with very small things. This way you will be happy all the time. Train your mind to this. Train your nervous m to laugh. Start laughing every time. You need to learn how to laugh. Lower your criteria of what makes you laugh. Laugh at everything. Watch comedy. Have fun laughing.
MAKING THINGS EASY ON YOURSELF.
You will have to make a certain lifestyle shift as well. It has to be congruent to the new you. It will be a lot harder if your life will get in the way. You are constantly being influenced by the people and things around you. If the only thing you change are the 30 minutes and 20 minutes, it will be an uphill battle. You won’t succeed. Your current lifestyle is based on your current identity and it will keep you in place. People feel motivated briefly, then go back to their routine and forget it. Change everything about your current lifestyle. Be aware what and who is influencing you.
- Cut off anything that takes more than it gives. Anything that doesn’t help you move forward. Cut off mainstream media, commercials, gossip etc. It takes more than it gives. It gives you a temporary high, a distraction and it conditions you to the wrong things and dumbs you down. Replace it with real information. Read books, audiobooks. You can delete a habit, replace it with a habit. You can’t get rid of an influence, you have to replace it. Trade noise with information. Radio example. People travel a lot, spend a lot of time in the car and they decide to listen to the fucking radio. Listening to noise. Instead of trading that influence for audio books. Cut off external stimulus and replace it with mediation. Drinking and drugs.
- Cut off friends that are negative, victim mindset, drama friends, the ones you have the need to impress and you can’t be present and replace them with new friends on the same path as you, bettering themselves. Don’t hate them either, they are not bad people. With you changing who you are, it will create chaos and they will hold you back. It will also shine a light on their personal issues. Get new friends. It will happen naturally. The more you change, the more you will have trouble relating to your friends. Don’t feel bad. I would rather move ahead and better myself so I can inspire them to take action than stay who I am and regret it all my life. These new friendships will be the most powerful.
- Cut off bad emotions. Mediation will help.
- Cut off environments. Move to a big city where you can get reference experiences. Don’t use it as an excuse either. You won’t get bad rep if you act in a small environment. Take action and try to move if it is limiting you.
- Move away from your job if you think it isn’t helping you. Be smart about it. Don’t just quit your job or college. Minimize the risks.
Start looking at your current lifestyle, look at what is influencing you and how it is influencing you. Replace the bad ones. Restructure it all to make it congruent to the new you and who you want to become.