Dear Penny,
I am writing to you seeking advice on a difficult situation with my mother. For the past several months, my mother has been behaving in a manner that is both confusing and concerning to me. Specifically, she has taken to dressing like a landlady and threatening to evict me from my own home.
I should note that my mother and I live together in a house that I own. I purchased the house several years ago, and my mother moved in with me shortly thereafter. We have always had a good relationship, and I have always been happy to have her living with me. However, over the past few months, my mother has started to act differently.
It began with her insisting on being referred to as the landlady and insisting that I call her that. At first, I thought it was a joke or just a passing phase, but as time went on, it became clear that she was serious. She started wearing clothing that you might expect a landlady to wear, such as a button-up shirt and a long skirt. She also began carrying around a set of keys that she would jingle loudly whenever she walked in or out of the house.
But the most concerning part is her threat to evict me. She has been saying things like You're not paying your rent on time or I'm going to have to kick you out if you don't shape up. This is really confusing and hurtful, as this is my house and I am the one that is paying the mortgage.
I've tried talking to her about this behavior, but she becomes defensive and denies that she's doing anything wrong. She says that she's just playing a role and that I should lighten up. But I can't just ignore this, it's starting to affect my mental health, and I don't know what to do.
I would greatly appreciate any advice or suggestions you might have on how to handle this situation. I love my mother and I don't want to cause any trouble, but her behavior is becoming increasingly difficult to deal with.
Sincerely, Concerned Son
It is important to understand that your mother's behavior is not normal and it is affecting your mental well-being, which should be your top priority. You may consider seeking therapy or counseling to help you process your feelings and to come up with a plan of action.
It is also important to have a conversation with your mother about how her behavior is impacting you and your relationship. Make sure to communicate clearly and calmly, and try to find a solution that works for both of you. It could be the case that your mother is going through a difficult time and her actions are a way of coping, in this case, it would be beneficial for her to seek therapy or counseling as well.
You may also want to consider involving a neutral third party, such as a mediator or a therapist, to help facilitate this conversation and come to a resolution.
It is important to remember that as the homeowner and the person paying the mortgage, you have the right to set boundaries and have a say in how your home is run. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide what is best for your mental and emotional well-being, and you should not feel guilty for standing up for yourself.
It is also important to keep in mind that as much as you love your mother, her
behavior is not healthy and it is not your responsibility to put up with it. If the situation continues and you are unable to find a resolution, you may need to consider other options such as finding a separate living arrangement. This is not an easy decision, but it may be necessary for your own well-being.
Additionally, you may want to consider consulting with an attorney to understand your rights as a homeowner. They can advise you on the legal implications of your mother's behavior and any potential options you have if the situation escalates.
It's also worth checking if there is any community resource available for people in similar situations, such as a support group for adult children living with aging parents or counselor who specialize in geriatric care. They may be able to provide additional guidance and support.
It's important to take care of yourself and your mental well-being during this difficult time. It's also important to remember that this behavior is not your fault and that you deserve to live in a safe and healthy environment.
It may be helpful to keep lines of communication open with your mother, but at the same time, you should not hesitate to seek help and advice from outside sources to ensure that your well-being is protected. Remember, you are not alone in this and there are people who can help.
Sincerely, Penny
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