CHAPTER 6: LIFESTYLE
Seek out the best environments with the best reference experiences. High end venues, high end clubs, high end girls. Understand the Dynamic at play. In a high end club, it is the doorman’s job to make the inside of the club is the sickest place ever. Maximum amount of beautiful women and minimum amount of guys. These guys must be cool guys, good vibe, positive, dress appropriately. They are trained to screen for these people. Nothing ruins a clubs reputation more than a guy who is not cool getting in and doing this inside. If you are not categorized as a cool person, you will have trouble getting in, no matter what.
Go out and observe who these cool people are. Go to a venue you want to frequent and observe them. Clothes, acting, talking, get a feel of what means to be cool and mimic that.
Wear the type of clothes they are wearing. Clothes matter. It also depends on the type of club and culture. Dressing too formal in a casual environment might make you look you are trying too hard.
Mimic the way cool people act. A universal dress code is black shirt and black shoes.
In line don’t show signs of desperation. Don’t be quiet in the line. Unsure of yourself. Needy. You will stand out as not cool. Look at the guy who are getting in, how do they act. They act as they belong there. If you are by yourself, hang out on your phone. Radiate positivity. Don’t joke around too much with the people around you, don’t overdo the abundance or you may joke with the uncool people and you will be associated with them. Chat here and there, a few lines. Don’t call the bouncer desperately either. Subtly get his attention. While you are joking around with your buddy. Don’t try too hard. You will have to do this more than once. IF he doesn’t let you in, don’t take it personally, hold your ground and wait. He might let you in soon. Don’t start an argument with the bouncer. Don’t complain about not getting in. Never do this. Realize when it is time to be humble. They are doing their job. There are hundreds of others guys like you trying to get it. BE chill, show respect, vibe a bit, show that you respect what he does.
Don’t show up with more than one, maybe 2 other guys, unless you have girls. They must keep a ratio inside. 2 guys max. If you are in a group, split up while you are away, before entering. In the line don’t talk with the other guys. 0 communication until you are in the club.
Guest lists. You will be asked this when you show up. You can sign up online for these guest lists. Look it up online. If there isn’t, look up the manager’s name, promoter’s name, and deejays. The more names you know the better. You can find these out online or in the line, listening. Note if the person at the door checks his iPad or paper for a list of names. There are 2 guest lists, one with the promoters if they are working that night and a precise list of invited people. If you are not in the guest list and they ask you, your answer should be “Oh, it’s just me”. It’s just the 2 of us. Be calm, hold eye contact, and expect to get in. It’s not a big deal. It’s just you and your friend. Assuming you are a cool person, this will work. If it is guest only, say a name you heard before, a promoter. Hold eye contact, repeat it’s just me, with my friend. We are cool people, with this promoter, whatever. They will eventually let you go. If they ask your name, give it fully expecting you will get in, holding eye contact and being chill. If he says he can’t find you, answer that the promoter said he would have put you on the list. It’s weird. Maintain eye contact and see what happens. If they won’t offer to let you in, then say let me just text him really fast, this is weird. Offer to text the promoter before they tell you to do it. Stay casual, pretend to be texting him or calling him, chat with your friend and look at little annoyed. Then say “this situation is a little annoying, the promoter is not replying, can’t you just let me in”. If that doesn’t work, say some more names. Look, I am with this promoter, I also know this, this and this guy. It’s just me, just the two of us.
If this doesn’t work, get girls. Sometimes no matter what you won’t get in unless you have girls. Build a social circle with beautiful women you take out with you. To do this, pick up women when you go out but put them in the friend zone instead of going to sex. Don’t sleep with them, go out with them and have fun. And when you go out, invite them so you will be able to show up with them. Grab girls off the fucking line. Some guys do this around the streets, trying to convince them to go to the club with them. Chances are low. Instead show up when the line is long and get girls off the fucking line. They are already going in. Make sure the bouncers don’t see you, especially if you tried them already. Tell them some friends are coming and you are with them, then leave and go get some girls. Walk up to some girls in the line, ask them “is it just the two of you? Very authoritative, like you work inside. Wait for the response. Then say, ok come. Very decisive, commanding, by taking her hand. Just as if you work there. They will follow if you are direct. Walk up in front of the line. Oh it’s just the amount of us. WE are on this list, bam get in. if the girls don’t want to come, bribe them with drinks. Please, my friends are already inside and they are not answering, I am not from here, please I will buy you a drink. I promise.
The last option is to bribe your way in. Sometimes there is no way around it and it is cheaper than a bottle or a table. If you do this, make sure it’s a onetime thing and you do it to make connections. DO it discretely and subtly. Bribe the main guy, the one who resisted you the most. Take him away, and invent some excuses, my friends are inside, I really want to get in tonight, everybody talks well about this place, is there a way we can make this work. Is there a way I can help you. Usually they will be ok with it. Have the cash on hand.
Get 2 guys to get in and stand, get one to come out and try to get the stamp form his hand to yours. Or try to draw it.
In the long run, build connections. Befriend everyone there. Once you are in the in, and they know who you are, you just show up and they let you in. It takes effort and time, about a month going out every day. If you aren’t travelling a lot and you live in a small place, go out every day, and befriend promoters, bouncers. Get their numbers. Text them when you go out. Ask them about cool venues. Let them see you with cool girls. Thank them for letting you in with your female friends, tell them you like the place. Even if you don’t get in. Hey man thanks for last night, I got in with my girls. They get paid depending how many girls they bring in. If you start throwing girls and people at them, they will let you in. Chat up those promoters. Chat the bouncers when you are in. The best bribe method is at the end of the night. Hey man thanks for the night, and you give him cash. You don’t even need something from him, you are on your abundance. Learn everyone names well. Do this for 30 days and you will have access to the best venues.
MAKING A SHIFT JULIEN BLANC WRITTEN BY ASP
Surrounding yourself with likeminded people gives you a sense of unity. You are not in this alone. It helps going against your emotions and taking action. You will progress faster. Someone who encourages you. Find the best in the field and learn from them. Don’t learn from your wingmen in the beginning. Getting wingmen is important. Going alone is good, never depend on anything external. If you are going alone 100% of the time you are retarded.
Alone 20% and with a wing 80%. Having a wingmen out with you will cut your learning curve a lot. Most guys will ask their friends to become their wingmen. This won’t work. They will resist it. They love familiarity. They don’t want the discomfort from the transformation. They will mock you, look down on you. Don’t do this. Find wingmen online. Go to live events. It doesn’t matter how good your wing is. There are advantages to good and bad wings. What your criteria should be is positive and outgoing. A guy who is always fucking, positive, committed. Find that kind of guy. Motivated to take action. NO victim mentality. Don’t hang out with lazy passive negative guys. Ego centered. Find 2-3 guys and stick to them instead of rotating every time. Set the frame of that relationship from the start.
· Judgment free relationship. Usually when a relationship begins, each of you take some roles, the good guy, the guy who sucks etc. and with time you just live up to those roles. Some guys will be afraid of getting rejected in front of their wing. They will try to impress each other, ego involved etc. don’t be afraid to get rejected in front of them, discussing deep things.
· No jealousy type of relationship. You are friend but walking your own separate paths. Don’t be afraid to sprint ahead in terms of your progress. You don’t have to wait for him. If one guys progresses faster, it shouldn’t ruin that relationship. Sprint ahead of each other and inspire each other.
There are advantages to both better and worse wingmen. IF they are better than you, they will inspire you and you will learn. If they are worse than you, you will learn to take responsibility and things will consolidate even further in your head. You can even give yourself challenges. If he sucks, you should wonder if you can carry the situation for the both of you. On micro level this is valid as well. Having a wing helps you tremendously. On one hand, you are not there by yourself. The environment is not as scary. You are not against the world. Sense of unity. It is also a lot harder to get into your head. If you take a break, instead of listening to the voice in your head and losing momentum, you can start talking to your wing. If you don’t have a wing, don’t use it as an excuse.
Create a makeshift wing on the spot. Find one person in the club who is willing to talk to anyone in the club. Chatting anyone. Make her your wing. Talk to that guy, then talk to a girl, then back to him/her, then to another girl. While out he can help you with the logistics of some girls. He can occupy her friends.
WRITTEN BY ASP
Whoever opens the set can do whatever he wants to it. You are the one in charge if you opened them. You can choose any girl in the set and your friend’s job is to help you. The best situation you can get is 2 girls and your wingmen. The girls get to talk to both of you. They won’t feel judged, they will be in it together. When you find yourself in that situation, split the conversation from a 4 way to a 2 way. You must have 1 on 1 time with her. Then regroup, then split again, then regroup. You can do this physically. Come over there, meet my friends, and then get back. Separate them, reunite them, separate them and reunite them. THIs build trust since when she sees her friend is leaving she might be worried, but she will see her come back. Use this dynamic to screen for logistics. Ask your girl about his girl. Does she have boyfriend, where is she staying, compare notes later when you reunite. Let the girls compare notes too. Pump value as well. Talk well about your wingmen if you are talking to his girl. HE will do the same to you. This also means knowing your fucking wing. Become friends. Know about him, about his life, what he likes, what he doesn’t, inside jokes, strong bond. IT is a ton of value in their eyes. Acknowledge him in front of the girls. Be on your wings side if a girl says something and he says another thing. Don’t ignore your wing for the girl. Be aware of where the girls are emotionally and build the tension at the same time. Move it up together so a girl doesn’t think she is a slut in front of the other. When pulling whoever has the alpha girl of the group, it is his job to lead and bring the group somewhere else. It’s your job to lead her where things can escalate. If they don’t want to spilt, it is fine too. You can split there or later. MANAGING RELATIONSHIPS.
If you follow everything to the letter, you will start getting results with women. And good ones as well. You might be held back however if you don’t know how to manage them all. If you are new to all of this and never committed to this, don’t get into a serious relationship for at least 6 months to a year. Give it time, go all out for this time and see what you can achieve instead of settling for the first girl who is interested in you. IF you do this, you won’t make long lasting internal changes and when you will break up you will be more fucked than before. If you are going all out, give this from 6 months to 1 year first. You can have casual relationships but don’t settle down and keep going out at least 30 minutes a day. In terms of compartmentalizing there are 3 main categories. Long term relationships. These are serious where she is your girlfriend. Short term relationships. They can become serious but usually they are casually, fuck buddy relationship etc. Friend with benefits. One night stands where you see her for just one night. It’s up to you to learn to distinguish which women fall into which categories and from there frame the relationship the right way so both parties know what’s up.
All relationships start with sex. Sleep with her as soon as possible. NO matter what. Snap out of the socially conditioned thinking that you have to wait months for sex. You don’t need to do that. Be a guy of value who knows what he wants, goes for what he wants.
MAKING A SHIFT JULIEN BLANC WRITTEN BY ASP
That’s what she wants too. She doesn’t want a guy who courts her, she wants THAT guy. If you are that guy, she will sleep with you fucking fast. Sleeping with you is huge form of investment. She is risking 9 months of pregnancy. Is this guy worthy, is he valuable enough? She won’t be conscious of this. If she agrees to sleep with you, it will be easy to transition anywhere.
· Long-term relationships. This are the easiest to transition to. What you have to do it sleep with her and take her to dinner, serious dates. Then she is pretty much your girlfriend. Some girls won’t be looking for a relationship but most girls will be open to it. Social conditioning is on your side as well. Society says that if you sleep with someone and you don’t love him, you are a slut. She will rationalize this. If there is a possibility for a relationship, she will take it in order not to feel a slut. If you trouble with this, it’s because of 2 reasons. 1. You mismanage expectations. If during the initial interaction you are carefree, fun, sex is not a big deal etc. and then you become serious, she won’t be expecting that. You were fun fun fun and then serious. What you should do when you find a girl who is girlfriend material and you have nice chemistry with is throw in some glimpses of being a little more serious, of being a provider. She should hang out some time, coffee, some place more chilled than this night club. Plant those seeds so she starts thinking about it. 2. The sex wasn’t good. This is for 2 reasons as well. 1. Either you never slept with any girls and you just suck or you have one night stands and you suck as well, you don’t know what’s good and what is not, how to build emotional connections. If these are your problems, start seeing girls more than once. Even if most girls don’t stick around, there will be one who will, sleep with her more than once. Get the feel for what good sex is. They won’t be the most attractive ones but use them for practice. Look up how to make her squirt. The first sex must be good and this is vital. Set the frame of sex as well. Look up sex material. Don’t let them sleep over the first night. Most gorgeous women have never been kicked out. Making them leave is the last push you need to make them come back. You will be different than the other guys. Tell her you have things to do in the morning. For most girls, let them sleep over and bring them into your world. Don’t restructure your day, bring her into your reality, show her who you are. Do you thing and let her tag along. She will wonder who the fuck is this awesome guy she met. Don’t bring it up verbally whether you are boyfriend of girlfriend. Let actions talk. IF you go on dates, take her out, actions will set the frames. Be careful, once you set the long term relationship frame, it is hard to make it more casual, easy to make it more serious. Be aware of the frame you set. Be aware of how often you go out, how often you text her. IF you do this every day, those become the expectations. And it will be hard to take it back. There is a way to go from serious to less serious is to break up and get back together being more casual. Depending on the girl, you can frame it where she is also your wing woman.
MAKING A SHIFT JULIEN BLANC WRITTEN BY ASP
She goes out with you where you can pick up other girls. The way you do this is setting the frame from the start. You sleep with her and on the first date, take her out to a club and start picking up other girls. Very unapologetically. You are meeting other people. Some won’t be ok with it. Most will. Frame it like this. You keep the potential of being exclusive with her alive in the future but right now you guys will pick up other girls for your relationship. Tell her you really like her and you want to be exclusive with her in the future but right now for you to know each other on a deeper level you should experience yourselves with different women. You don’t care about women, you care about her but you both must get to know each other on a different level. You are doing this for the both of you.
· Short term relationships. With this in the beginning you must be the lover, no provider at all. NO seriousness. Or you will mismanage the expectations and she won’t be ok with that. Make sure it is very light hearted and very fun. Let your actions set the frame. Sleep with her, do not take her out. Only see her one time a week, 2 max, see her only for drinks and sex. NO dates, no dinners, no friends meeting, no hanging out during the day. This is how you manage expectations. If she meets your friends etc. they will wonder who you are and she won’t be able to tell them you are fuck buddies etc. And you will make her think you want something serious, mismanaging the expectations. If you are in public, don’t get things sexual, keep it casual. You can say stuff. You got out of a serious relationship, you don’t know what you want, you don’t want something serious etc. They may bring it up eventually. Wait for her to do it. Frame it the same way as before. The potential of love is alive for the future but now you can’t do this. You are not ready yet, you don’t want to rush things, rush love, it would feel forced, you want to explore who you are, interacting and sleeping with other women. If you get into a relationship now you feel like you will always regret it and you don’t want to be harsh breakup in the future. Let’s do this for us now so we can be happy in the future. Don’t lie, tell her the truth that you are seeing other people. Call it a relationship in progress. Don’t call it fuck buddies. Don’t talk about the other girls you see, even if she is ok with it. Every fucking girl is jealous.
· One night stands. Make sure you are extremely fun and light hearted. Fun in the moment. You are having sex as a climax of that moment. Don’t make plans of hanging out in the future. You are doing this to climax a great experience.
The best way to stay in touch is Facebook. Add them all to your Facebook. Share part of your life, post pictures etc. and they will get the fix of you through that. You can use it to mass text them.