|These are the notes for the 49 Dating Hacks Webinar. A lot of great, easy to implement tips and techniques here.|
The reason for these dating hacks is not to have a giant list of things to do. It's to say "okay this week I'll work on X and Y and next week I'll do Z." or "When my set gets to a certain point I'll do X"
If you like these notes leave a nice comment or share some insight you've gained.
#1 Be the best at getting better
If you're getting better every single outing, then eventually you will notice great improvements.
#2 Work Ethic + Strategy
If you don't have the work ethic your strategy is just an idea. You need the work ethic.
"I don't have to work hard, I work smart!"
"Me too asshole, I work hard and smart, now what?"
If you talk to 3-4 women per hour, for 4 hours, 4 times a week, thats 64 women a week. Even more if you're doing 2 or 3 sets.
All of the stuff that these women are saying to you is going into your brain and being processed as data. Your mind will begin noticing patterns patterns.
#4 Strengthen Your Intention
When you strengthen your intention you're making all the information in your head available. This is what makes all the things that you should be doing in the set work.
Most men have weak intentions. "What did you want to do in the set?" "oh.. I just wanted to talk to a hot girl."
What's better is to have the intention of getting her number, and an even stronger intention of creating a sexual relationship with her.
Having a strong intention is what will allow your mind to run through all the data you're processing through in Dating Hack #3
#5 Only Be Working On 3 Things
This comes from sticking point analysis.
The idea is that you're treating your game plan like a flow line. When you get to certain points your whole game fizzles out. Those are your sticking points. Just following the regular game plan will not allow you to work on your sticking points.
What you can do is focus on 3 things: What you want to work on for the majority of the time, and 2 other things that you're not all that good at.
#6 Use Propulsion Systems
In addition to moving towards something, you're moving away from something. The law of attraction and the law of rejection. This gives you two sources of movement.
Think of something that you're scared of doing.
Measure your desire to do it on a scale of 1-100.
What's the worst thing that could happen if you did it? (She could kill me, stab me, etc. or more likely, her making a sour face, etc.)
When was the last time you did it?
What actually happened?
Are you okay now? Did you survive that?
Now measure your desire to do that on a scale of 1-100.
Whats the absolute best thing that could happen if you did this?
What would doing this say about you? What kind of person does this?
If you got just 50% of this, wouldn't that be great?
If you got just 25% of that, wouldn't that be great?
Now measure your desire. (it should jump up)
You're using these question methods to get down to what the possibilities are.
Most people don't take action because taking action ruins the fantasy/the good feeling.
Most people have competing goals.
You want to maximize your time, but you also want to go to the gym and work out. You can't maximize your time if going to the gym takes you an hour or more.
One way you can do both is to do bodyweight exercises, or get a standing desk, etc.
One way to use this in dating is to schedule a date for 7:30 in an area with some activity and dress nice.
If its going well, stay. If it's not going well, leave at 9:30 and go to the bar/club. You're already dressed well, and you're in a place with a lot of people already.
#8 Examine Presuppositions
The presupposition of the earlier example is that to workout, I have to go to the gym.
To find presuppositions ask "How? What am I assuming is true about this that might not be?"
or the 5 whys. Ask why 5 times.
#9 Sexualized Compliments
This helped CJ skyrocket his game, especially when combined with a strong intention.
He wanted to find out pretty early whether or not he should be spending time with this girl. so he used sexualized compliments. It's not a test, it actually creates sexual tension.
Sexualized compliments are not generic. They are specifically about her.
A woman could throw herself at any guy in the venue and go home with him. Why doesn't she? Because for it to feel real to her, it has to be about you and her.
Her goal is to create a sexual effect on men. Its why she got dressed up. Its why she chose a salad over a cheeseburger.
"Sorry...could you repeat that? I got distracted by your lips... they're very nice... what were you saying?"
"You're very sexy... what were you saying?"
The reason why you ask "what were you saying" is because often there is snapback effect. You ratchet up the sexual tension too high and she tries to shut it down. You want slow, steady progress that is comfortable.
#10: Speed Up
The amount of time you put in has no effect on if she'll have sex with you.
Remember the friend zone? Most men in the friend zone have poured hours and hours into their women, and nothing happens. Women are available to have sex very quickly. Time is not much of a factor.
Once you establish your rhythm, speed up.
Captain Jack's question for himself was "How fast can I get a timebridge?"
At 40 mins, he got a 60-70% closing rate.
At 15 mins it was like 30%.
25 mins was perfect for him. At 20 mins he'd go for the time bridge, at 25 he was done with the set.
Speed it up until your results break down, then bring it back up again.
#11 Every now and then, try something completely different.
Then use no routines
Do the mystery method and peacock.
Try Juggler and have a very natural st
#12: interrogative Self Talk
Negative self-talk saps motivation.
You can often create your own obstacle by having negative self-talk when it doesn't exist in reality at all.
Interrogative self-talk is turning your affirmation into a question.
Can I be an attractive man?
Yes (its always a yes ) then list out 3-5 reasons. When the question comes up, the reasons come up as well.
#13 Be out of balance
People who talk about work/life balance often don't achieve that much. To be above average you'll have to go out of balance, at least for a while.
You can remove some of the negative effects by scheduling the most important things. So instead of waking up at 9, wake up at 7 and go see your parents, or work out, or whatever. Often you can retain some semblance of balance if you just schedule correctly and prioritize.
If you fail to do this you'll be one of those people who blame game for throwing their entire life out of wack.
#14 Supreme Nutrition
You'll be in loud environments, drinking and possibly smoking. You'll begin losing sleep. You need good nutrition for longevity or you won't survive the grind.
#15 Surround yourself with women
You're better off in your life if you have women you're not dating. It also demystifies a lot of the mystery around women. Some guys don't have a lot of data on women, and this helps you get that additional data, along with increasing the volume of women you approach. Women can be past girlfriends, family members, girls you couldn't close.
#16 Unburden Your Mind
It takes a fair amount of mental energy to do well in dating, with all the people you have to talk to.
To get rid of as much mental stress as you can, make a list of unfinished business, and decide which ones you're going to keep, and which ones you're going discard and knock as many of those things out as possible.
#17 Craig's Short Sets
Use Social Conversations
Cocky and Funny A Bit
Keep circling these short sets and then towards the end lock-in and ride it out.
If you're not having fun, what's the point?
"Are you guys shy? Because I've been standing here looking all cute and you haven't said anything "
When you go out alone, you only have two options, open, or stand there alone.
You can create instawings by talking to guys about women.
Ask them what kind of girls they like... approach those women and introduce them.
If you've got quite a bit of experience, go out and just observe at bars. If you don't have much experience this is basically useless.
#20 If you don't feel like going out...
agree that you'll go out for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes if you don't feel it, then leave.
#21 Coach Someone
After 100+ sets you know more than the average guy. Coaching someone helps you make your knowledge solid.
One thing that you must watch out for is that coaching may increase your ego. You start to impress other guys, and then you stop taking risks. It happens a lot to guys who begin coaching.
#22 Mental Rehearsal
Visualization is extremely powerful. You want to mentally rehearse your game plan and imagine doing it perfectly. You also want to mentally rehearse your solution to sticking points. It also helps to mentally rehearse your solution to sticking points.
You're telling your mind what you want to happen. You're making your mind run on that track and when you're in the heat of the moment, you'll have those resources available.
#23 Mentally Rehearse Your Past Failures (and fix them)
This allows you to correct past failures and tell your mind what you would like from it in the future.
#24 Imagine Having Sex With her Right Before You Open
This is a big one. It seems to be some sort of secret thing.
It has to do with intention, but its something a bit different. Imagining it, seems to create some powerful effect.
CJ experimented with doing this, and not doing this, and every time he did it, it had a powerful effect.
#25 Talk To Everyone
Important for everyone and most important for introverts. It gets your mouth moving. Talk to girls you're interested in, girls you're not interested in, guys etc.
#26 When In The Field, Never Stop Talking
Once you get your mouth moving, don't stop talking! Talk to bartenders, guys, friends, everyone. Once you have momentum, don't stop!
#27 Use Sets As A Base
The first one or two sets of the night are your "base." If you get blown out of another set, just go back to your base.
#28 Open New Sets While in Set
You can open a set while you're in a set. If you leave a set to look for another one, you're losing momentum, and then breaking into that set becomes an obstacle. Use a Low Investment Opener to open a new set while in set.
#29 Use Low Investment Openers
These are statements and questions that you can get a simple answer to. If they hook, stay and talk. If they don't, whatever.
#30 Open Mixed Sets
If CJ only had one night to get laid he'd focus 80% of his time on mixed sets. If guys and girls are in a group, but not dating or escalating, that already shows that those guys are bad at dating. If you get the guys to approve of you, the women will feel safe around you.
#31 Don't Take Shit Personal
There's a lot of rejection, if you take things personally you won't get good.
#32 Leverage previous Night Success by Inviting Women Out to Meet You
If you have some girls numbers in your phone text all of them to come out to meet you (and your friends, if you brought them) at the venue.
This does two things: allows you to re-establish a connection with these women, and creates a base for your night. They may also bring their own friends along. Win-Win-Win.
When you first start doing this, you may not get many responses at first, but if you keep doing this they'll begin expecting it. CJ tries to get as many women to the venue with him as possible.
#33 Time Constrain Your Day2s and Go Out Afterward
This is another part of dovetailing. Go out on a date at 7. If its not going well, leave at 9/10 and go out.
#34 Smile More! (Especially Right Before You Open)
When you smile it does release different chemicals, it makes you feel better, and people like you more. When you smile when you talk to women, it makes them feel more safe, which is a legitimate risk for them.
#35 If You Drink Alchohol Take B1 Regularly
B1 is needed to process alchohol. If you drink a lot of alchohol, you need to supplement B1, its not found in a lot of food.
#36 When Pulling, Switch To Commands
You go into command mode and lead them, so there's not a lot of wiggle room. Women also find this highly attractive.
#37 Make Her Neutralize Friends
Common sense: If her friends pull her away you have less of a chance of banging her.
"Your friends seem really cool. But... they don't know what we're feeling here. They might try to protect you by pulling you away.. so, you gotta let them know you're okay and want to be with me."
#38 Lessen Her Regrets With "Regret Erasure"
People often focus on some intermediate (negative) consequence. This provides a path to the current state where they're obviously just fine.
This is a bit of a "hypnotic" thing.
"Ok... now, I'm going to ask you a question... but, I don't want you to answer out loud. it's private. just answer in your head. Ok?
Think of times when you went fast right after meeting someone.
Now, realize no matter what happened then, you're right here, right now and everything is completely fine.
Memorize it, and then do it as naturally as possible.
#39 Push Her away
Women aren't used to being pushed away... especially hot women.
Works at any point in the interaction and works extremely well in escalation.
"I can't believe you said that," then gently push her away.
The belief is that when things start going really well, you need to push push push forward. Pushing her away a bit is a shock for most women under 25, and really hot women.
#40 During Escalation Pay Attention to Body Tension and BACK OFF When She feels Uncomfortable
You don't want her to verbalize no. Especially with all the male rape accusations flying around. If she does say no, or tenses up, just back off, let her relax and then go back into it when you're both more comfortable.
This rarely happens for CJ, but if that happens, she would have to physically leave and nothing could take place until the next day.
#41 Write Field Reports
The act of writing out field reports puts the data you've observed into a tangible form for your mind. You can obesrve patterns. If something in your game starts going bad, you can look back and notice "Oh! Its because I stopped doing that.
This is basically the entire basis of CJ's Pickup Scientist product: http://theplace.bz/details.php?id=61226
#42 Text Her After The Club Closes
If you're doing night game, you get her number and time bridge, you can text her right after the club closes.
"Where you at sexy?"
"Come see me."
CJ's SNL rate went up about 30% after doing this.
#43 Push It, Push It To The Limit.
How many opens can I get?
How many TimeBridges can I get?
How many kiss closes can I get?
#44 Parade Girls Through The Venue
It's even better if they parade you through the venue.
CJ used to say: "Parade 3 girls through the venue and you're guaranteed to get laid that night."
Once you do this a few times, your sets will open right up.
#45 Kill Reactionism
Guys say "ran a routine, did something, she didn't respond much..."
Your game shouldn't be based on the responses of women. If she's still there, keep gaming.
The thing that tells you if you're on the right track is if you get the timebridge or how well the kiss goes.
#46 Throw Up False Barriers To Sex
'I think you are completely sexy. But of course, I just met you, so I can't say that."
It creates a kind of safe zone. The girl can then reply something like:
"I'd tell you you're the sexiest guy in here, but then you'd get a big head, so I won't."
#47 When Pulling One Of The Most Effective Things You Can Say Is
"Don't worry, neither of us have to do anything we don't want to..."
Often you can see them visibly relax, lower their shoulders, etc.
#48 Start To Walk Away
Most guys don't walk away. So you say something and you kind of lean back, and act as if their reply brought you back to the conversation. Then they feel that they're trying to say stuff to get you to stay.
#49 Say Something Positive About Another Girl (not a friend of hers) In The Environment
This has the effect of them thinking "What about me?"
Boazoa's #50 Anchor Your Timebridge
The whole purpose of a timebridge, and the reason why its used over a number close is that it gets the girl to think about you and her outside that interaction. Its a form of future pacing. If you don't timebridge, you can easily lose all the momentum you've created.
If you're privy to anchoring, as you're setting the timebridge, anchor some positive feelings to it.